Grandparenting today looks different than it did a generation ago. In Canada, there are more grandparents than ever before, and many play a hands-on role, whether through school pickups, caring for little ones when they’re sick or simply being a steady source of love and fun. At the same time, more families are sharing homes across generations, often for practical reasons like rising housing costs, childcare or caregiving needs.

These close connections create incredible opportunities and benefits for everyone involved. For children, time with grandparents offers not just extra love and support but also a link to family history and traditions. For grandparents, being present in their grandchildrens’ lives can bring companionship, joy and a renewed sense of purpose. But like any meaningful relationship, challenges can arise. Differences in parenting styles, old family dynamics and balancing expectations can all create tension. That’s why being intentional about how you show up as a grandparent matters. Here’s how to keep your relationships with your adult children and grandchildren positive, respectful and rewarding.

---

Respect Parenting Choices

Parenting and safety recommendations have changed a lot since you raised your own kids. From screen time and social media, to setting routines, guiding behaviour and safe sleep practices, many aspects of parenting look very different than they did before. It can be tempting to fall back on what worked in your experience, but staying curious and open-minded shows your adult children that you respect their approach and decisions. Following their rules keeps kids safe, builds trust and can mean even more time with your grandchildren in the long run. Of course, how you set boundaries will depend on your level of involvement. If your visits are infrequent, there may be more flexibility.

Define Boundaries

Clear expectations make life easier for everyone, so have conversations up front about what your role looks like to avoid guesswork. Talk openly about what you’re able and willing to handle when you’re babysitting or providing care. For example, some grandparents are happy to help during the day but aren’t comfortable with overnight stays or full weekend care. You’ll also want to clarify how parents prefer you to respond when behavioural issues arise or during other challenging moments. Being clear about roles and responsibilities prevents misunderstandings, reduces stress and keeps everyone working together as a team.

Provide Help in Meaningful Ways

Grandparents can play a crucial role in lightening the parenting load, but the key is to offer help in truly helpful ways. Sometimes it’s as simple as asking, “What would make your week easier?” That could be childcare, but it might mean running an errand, helping with lawn care or preparing a meal on a busy night. If you’d like to contribute financially, check in with the parents first. Instead of extravagant gifts, consider meaningful contributions like setting up a Registered Education Savings Plan (RESP) for post-secondary education, or creating a fund your grandchild can access later in life. If you don’t live nearby, there are ways to provide practical support while staying connected. For example, you could read a bedtime story or help with homework over video calls, coordinate extracurricular activities or cook a simple recipe together virtually that the whole family can enjoy.

Offer Encouragement

Parenting is hard and parents often don’t hear enough positive feedback. As their parent a few heartfelt words like, “I’m proud of you,” or, “You’re doing such a good job,” can mean more than you know. Encouragement will strengthen your relationship with your adult children and remind them that you’re on their side. Even small expressions of support can help your children feel seen and valued in their parenting journey.

Communicate with Empathy

Differences and disagreements are normal and expected when it comes to parenting. The key is to handle them thoughtfully: pick the right moments, focus on one issue at a time, listen actively and approach the conversation with curiosity rather than blame. For example, instead of saying “You never take your kids outside like I did,” say, “I’m curious. What kinds of outdoor activities do the children enjoy?” These approaches shift the focus to problem-solving and keep communication constructive. And sometimes, agreeing to disagree is the best way to preserve trust and respect.

Care for Yourself Too

If you’re providing daily or frequent care, this role can be both rewarding and exhausting. Pay attention to your own well-being and don’t be afraid to set limits. Take breaks when you need them, maintain your own hobbies and social connections and ask for help when things feel overwhelming. Everyone has different energy levels and abilities so adjust your involvement based on what feels manageable to you. Taking care of yourself will ensure that you have the energy, patience and joy to show up for your grandchildren in a meaningful way.

---

Grandparenting is a gift and being part of your grandchildren’s lives is a special kind of partnership. When grandparents and parents work together with respect and empathy, kids get the benefit of extra love, support and connection. No parent or grandparent is perfect and that’s okay. By focusing on communication, encouragement and shared responsibility, you can help create a family dynamic that feels positive and supportive for everyone.

---

If you enjoyed this article, you may also want to read:

• Self-Care for Overall Health and Well-Being
• 7 Chair Stretches for Seniors